Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
