so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
