I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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