just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
