it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
