I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize