I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize