she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
