Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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