You're so nebulous sometimes
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize