Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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