You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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