At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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