I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
