im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
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