honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
