I heard we made out
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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