I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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