i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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