you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
