What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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