Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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