threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
