Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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