Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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