It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
