Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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