or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize