He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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