there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my liver is dry heaving
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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