I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
