is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize