I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
