The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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