just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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