Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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