Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.

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(775): View more from Nevada

just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.

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(802): View more from Vermont

last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

(917): View more from New York City

dollar well spent

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now

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(210): View more from Texas

If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night

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(406): View more from Montana

Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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