if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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