so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
