Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
