the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
