My friends, they love my intelligence
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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