okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
