There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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