fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize