i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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