Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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