Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
