can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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