the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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