i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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