check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
