Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize