I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
