Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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