He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
