Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
