he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
