What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
