Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
